Take a seat and relax

I recorded this to test out my new mic and some new tools. Thank you to u/Correspondancer for the best script I have ever read about a sexy sentient couch.

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Questions I found myself asking included:

• What does fucking a glove in a couch sound like?
• Why is the couch English?
• Why am I doing this?

From this experience, I have learnt that:

• If I’m going to use an AI noise cancelling app, I should turn off the “auto-transcribe” option.
• I need to put in extra effort when I say “make you horny” so I don’t sound like Austin Powers.

Inclusivity notes: listener referred to as big boy, good boy once each. Listener has a penis, which is referred to as a cock.

Sound effects: OpenNSFW SFX pack, freesound.org (with special thanks to the guy whose innocent “opening a bottle of hair gel” effect I used for sex purposes, sorry man)

Anyway, uh, enjoy? 🛋️