Mime.wav

Script by fischji (Ryan)

Audio editing by PnyxWasHere using SFX from Freesound (CC0) and homemade.

Starring Alea_iacta_est_irA

Alea: Thank god you’re here. Quick. Get in here! 

Lurky: Ok, you’re freaking me out. What the hell happened?

Alea: What do you mean, what the hell happened? I told you what happened!

Lurky: You told me? . . . uhhhh . . . this isn’t the clown thing is it?

Alea: Not clown. Mime! A dirty, fucking mime!

Lurky: Ho, ho, ho. So fucking funny. Jesus, Alea, you had me, like, seriously worried. What the fuck?

Alea: Babe. Stop. This isn’t a joke. Just . . .  look, just come with me... Look!

Lurky: What . . . what the actual fuck . What the fuck is that, Alea??!!

Alea: What the fuck do you think it is, Lurky? It’s a dirty fucking mime. Who is apparently cramming a . . . what is that, a dildo,  . . . no, he’s shaking his head . . . well I don’t know, dude, do I? It’s a carrot. A cucumber? Bigger? An eggplant? Ok. Fine. An eggplant. He’s cramming an imaginary fucking eggplant up his ass. And making me play charades about it apparently. 

xxx

You, dear listener, are a dirty fucking mime who has turned up in Alea's bedroom for the second time as the result of a tragic typo. She is not very amused by this but luckily she has called over her much less discerning and terminally slutty friend (guess who?) and the three of us are about to have lots of fun together...

This audio brings together three of my favourite people and it seemed high time to share it with you. u/fischji has taken a silly idea and turned it into pure smutty comedy gold, u/PnyxWasHere has leaned into the absurd but realistic that he does so well with a gorgeous edit, and u/Alea_iacta_est_irA unsurprisingly gives another masterclass in how to be sexy as hell even though you can't stop laughing. More audios made with fischji here, more audios with Pnyx here, and more audios with Alea here. I really hope you enjoy this one!

Audio commissions open, email me: comms@lurkyaudio.com