You Fuck Your Two Best Friends For Your Birthday.flac

Script & Audio Editing by PynxWasHere

Starring Alea_iacta_est_irA as Ash

ASH (reading aloud)
“I want to share a hot threesome with my two best friends. They are a girl, who is hot as fuck, and a guy, who is pretty much average. Hopefully his cock is above average, but even average cocks are nice, so whatever.”

“We’ll start by sitting next to each other on the couch, with guy-best-friend in the middle. And we’ll kiss him, and kiss each other, and move slowly down his body, undressing him as we go. When we get to the nipples, we’ll lick and suck on them for a bit. Hopefully he’s into that. If he isn’t, we’ll do it anyway, so it doesn’t matter if he’s into it.”

“When we’re done with the nipples, we’ll go straight for the cock, since there’s nothing really interesting in between. We’ll start by licking and teasing the cock together. We might even kiss each other through the cock, if that makes sense — or even if it doesn’t make sense, actually.”

“Then we’ll have a cock-sucking competition. And since it’s my wish, I get to go first. Basically, we’ll take turns sucking his cock, going as deep as we can, for as long as we can, until he cums down one of our throats. Whoever gets his cum wins. And the loser has to be a good girl and do whatever I say for the rest of the wish.”

“Unfortunately, the guy’s cock will go soft after he cums. So he’ll just have to fuck off to a different part of the couch while his dick recovers. Meanwhile, me and the loser will —”

(to Sky)
That should be, “the loser and I.”

xxx

You, dear listener, are quite a lucky kind of guy because you have two of the bestest friends one could ask for. And because today is your birthday and their birthday as well. Oh and Leonardo da Vinci, Attila the Hun, and Taylor Swift. It's their birthday too. I think. Anyway, the important thing is the hat. Yes, our special birthday tradition. Oh, and all the kissing and sucking and fucking as well...

Any Pnyx script is guaranteed to be a delicious mess of absurdity, sloppy toppy oral, some good poundy sex and lots of reasons to laugh while horny. And Stupid Hat really is one of the best from an incredible selection. The self-collab version by trapped_whimpers was one of my favourite listens when I first heard it a year ago and it was so much fun now to get to embody Ash and Sky with my talented and hilarious and sexyasfuck partner-in-crime Alea_iacta_est_irA. This audio was masterfully edited by the lovely author himself with sound effects from ZapSplat, Freesound (CC0) and homemade. I hope you enjoy our version!